Archive for June, 2008

Starting New

June 20, 2008

I started Daily Practice again in earnest today.  It is not like before.  There are some differences.  I am alone without realtime watchers, but I didn’t feel like I was doing a solo practice although I also didn’t want a real watcher.  I do want to share though…..

The idea is to record with video and post for Lindsey and Christian to watch and respond with their video posts.  It probably won’t or can’t be a strict ‘daily practice’.  Today it felt rough, not just because I was working alone in front of a camera but I was also starting again after 7 weeks of not wanting to do any moving or rehearsing or art making.  I unplugged into my thoughts as I tried to understand what I just did, what that meant and where I am now.  I guess I needed to recharge or maybe it is refocus or re-understand.  I feel more in my skin now since returning to New York.  I missed the place.  Now, I look forward to seeing how L and C respond and how successful a ‘daily practice’ can be configured in this way. It feels good to start the dialogue again.

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on and off

June 14, 2008

on or off.

i am here in a far off location trying to remember my experience of the daily practice. obviously not the formal framework of it, that has been clearly articulated by j and l. but the rest of it – the physiological dimension. the memory dimension. the body fleshy dimension. the experience of coming clean with the truth of a particular moment or three minutes of moments strung together, our theater and performance.

were we on, within the experience of expressing a period of our lives. at times we succeeded and were real with one another and at times fell short and hid, perhaps just a little behind clever moves. going to the silent place of dance – as known territory, veiled in exploration. and many more times, beautifully articulating the raw state of ‘egg on face’. dont know what to do – AND – am not going to try to pretend i do – BUT – staying with you. the vulnerability can be palpable and then in an instant, complete recognition of the obsurdity of all of it. hysterical laughter. i loved those moments. not knowing and communicating not knowing. but i observed, and experienced, that only by doing that do you really have any control. and then something occures that tickles the soul dimension.

because really, its all over in an instant anyway. like a great photojournalist who can capture that one passing instant on film, we as performers also do the same – we read our environment  – and monitor our sensations – and report on our experience, in an instant – many instants in a row until times up.  thats it. 

having spent years perfecting my acting skills of illustrating being in control (often in white tights or sleek ass shorts as a classical/contemporary dancer), i see i am still a student at living within a certain dimension of my work. 

the performer practices saying – I DONT HAVE A CLUE (when they really dont have a clue). but in that admission, is everything.  that admission is truth, in most cases, but it is precisely that admission that is culturally denied, especially in presentational dance. 

 this two month long period of daily practice with j and l, was a form of ‘articulating’ the ‘i dont know’ – and celebrating that. 

its weird even to say it that way – “articulating not knowing”.